


Don't Be Wet, Water

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, F/M, Panic Attacks, Reader-Insert, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 02:49:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15596568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Don't Be Wet, Water

“It’s not the end of the world.”

“Don’t worry.”

“Stay calm.”

They just kept playing over and over again in her head. Of all people, she’d never expected to hear anything like that come out of Spencer’s mouth. He had his own issues with anxiety though nowhere near as bad as hers, so of all people wouldn’t he have understood?

Apparently not. He’d been talking with the other members of the team and that’s what had come out of his mouth.

“Don’t worry.”

Saying don’t worry to a person with anxiety was like saying don’t be wet water. Why would he say something like that?

It was all just proof that no one really understood. No one could see through her eyes and feel what she felt every time she went out in public - even with those she trusted. They couldn’t understand the way her palms would sweat and the way the blood rushing through her veins made a sound so loud she was sure everyone else could hear. They couldn’t feel their hearts slamming up against their chests so hard they felt bones would crack. It wasn’t something she could just get over. The feeling that everyone was looking at her and judging her wasn’t something she could just kick to the side. Worrying was a large part of anxiety - she couldn’t just stop!

She had to prove to her friends somehow that she wasn’t just this helpless little bird with a broken wing. Going out with them more often would prove something, right? She had medication for when she went out, but she always made some excuse not to go out. Not this time though. 

No, she was going to show them all that she could be easy and breezy and go out and have a good time just like everyone else. It was going to be fine. She’d get through it and prove them all wrong.

——-

Later that week when the team had been making plans to go out to dinner, they’d invited her. It was just a formality in their minds, at least that’s what she assumed, because she always said no, but this time she took them off guard and said yes. Spencer had looked pleasantly surprised, but surprised nonetheless and it rubbed her the wrong way. 

“Stay calm.”

It’s all she kept hearing.

“Ready to go?” He asked as they all finished up with their paperwork. 

She nodded shakily and placed the papers in a neat pile on top of the desk before finally slipping her coat on. Of course, she was the last one into the elevator, which meant that all eyes were on her, but she was going to get through this dinner. 

After an hour, she realized how wrong she was. She wasn’t going to make it. Every time she glanced around, she saw the eyes lingering on her - some being those of team members and friends, and others of strangers - but all of them causing her heart to race. What were they saying? What did they think about her? Could she get out of here without drawing any additional attention? 

With a deep breath, she clenched her hands and tried to tune everything else out for second, hoping a clear mind would allow her to make it through this. However, when she opened her eyes again the feelings only intensified. She felt a breath rattle in her windpipe as she tried to inhale. “Excuse me,” she said to her teammates. “I’ll be right back.”

The second she stood up, Spencer realized something was wrong so he scooted out of his seat to follow her. “Y/N?” He called as he heard the door slam behind him. He turned to the right and saw her leaning against the wall of the restaurant. “Y/N? What’s wrong? You okay?”

“No. I’m not okay!” She snapped, combing her fingers through her hair as she crouched and placed her head between her knees. “I have severe anxiety and no one seems to fucking understand.”

Spencer flinched at the accusation. How could she think that of him of all people? “What are you talking about Y/N? Of course, I get it.”

“Really?” She asked indignantly. “So I didn’t hear you talking to the team about how I just needed to ‘stay calm’ and ‘don’t worry,’ right? That wasn’t you?”

Taking another deep breath, she looked up to see Spencer in thought, trying to figure out what she was talking about, which just made her angrier. “You mean when I was talking to the team about what anxiety was like?” He asked finally.

“I heard you talking to them about how I should just stay calm and that I shouldn’t worry about things the way I do,” she replied, wiping the tears from her eyes with the backs of her hands.

Spencer stepped toward her and reached out. He wanted to make her feel better, but he pulled back. That would only put her on edge. “Y/N, you walked in on a piece of a conversation. The team didn’t really understand so they asked me to explain. I was saying that things like that, like don’t worry and stay calm are things you shouldn’t say to someone having a panic attack.”

“Oh…” She said softly. “Really? I thought you…”

“I what? That I was making fun of you? Of course not! I was trying to get people to understand what you go through and how to help,” he responded.

Now she felt like an ass. She’d heard part of a conversation and jumped to the wrong conclusion, doubting one of her best friends in the world in the process. “I’m sorry, I-”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he replied, opening his arms as her invitation to step inside. “I know what panic attacks feel like, so I know why you jumped to that conclusion. Just remember that I will never look down on you for that, okay?”

She mumbled against his chest. “Yea, I’ll try.” 

“Ready to go back inside?” He asked, feeling the beginnings of rain on his forehead. 

Not yet. “Gimme another minute,” Y/N instructed. “I’m still a little shaky.”

“Ok,” he mumbled into her hair. “I’ve got you.”


End file.
